On 26 October 2018 I got engaged, yay! Literally the first thing my mum said was “when’s the date”, and this was the start of this crazy ride.
We are both very different people. I’m an introvert and love my own company, my dream wedding was a surprise wedding at an engagement garden party. And D is the biggest attention seeking extrovert you’ve ever met, his idea is a massive big white wedding at the largest venue possible, inviting every person he has ever met.
So how does an Aussie and a Saffa marry when they live in London and their families live in their respective countries?
They have four weddings!
Yep that’s right I’m organising four weddings in the space of a month. I’ve never been one to shy away from adding more and more to my plate, so this should be a piece of cake.
Whilst I still have around 80 days till we leave for our whirlwind wedding extravaganza, there has been quite a lot I’ve learnt along the way.
So here is a quick run through the top things I have learnt so far.
Every man and his dog has an opinion on what you should do. What you should wear. Where you should honeymoon. How many people to invite. What you should eat. Absolutely everything, so you definitely need to get a good idea of what you and your partner want for the wedding. And make sure you keep those needs front and centre. Don’t be afraid to say no to these ideas, if they don’t suit what you and your partner have planned, be polite and say no thank you.
Communication is key. Having conversations about tough subjects like money are pretty important and you need to do that quite soon into the planning phase. And one of you will no doubt be a planner and budgeter, so you do you and make lists and budgets, even if the other isn’t interested. I like to keep track of what we are spending, whereas D couldn’t care less. So luckily I pick a lot the things and end up making a lot of the payments, so his expensive taste is considered and little does he know how much I end up getting things for;)
Start saving ideas on Pinterest of what you like. I found it so much easier to have conversations with D when I could show him examples of what I liked and then it could have him thinking about what it was he actually liked. And let me tell you, quite often he was like, nah I don’t mind you chose, and then for things that I thought he wouldn’t even care about, he has very BIG views on what he wants. So best to give options where you can, and if you’re the one bringing the options to the table, you can definitely sway the ideas into your camp 😉
This one is for my mother, I know she’ll read this, pretty sure she’s still on emailing notifications from the old blog (Hi mum!). Mum’s don’t always know best, but when she tells you to start trying on wedding dresses 9 months out, you better listen to her. Because I cant tell you how many times I was told I was running out of time, and some dresses I tried on may not arrive in time for my wedding. So definitely start thinking early about what you want to wear. And best to listen to your mum on this occasion.
Try and relax and enjoy the process. This has been very hard for me #controlissues but when someone wants to help let them. It can be a lonely road organising it all on your own, so do let go of some things and let those nearest you help you. It will help your relationships in the long run.
I’ve had an odd and I think unusual experience with the wedding so far. I have had so many suppliers tell me I’m running out of time. I even had a dress shop tell me that if I gain weight before the day the dress I’d chosen cannot be altered. I had to reassure them I would not gain weight, and if I did it was my fault. Like duh my body is my responsibility.
I have had bride shame quite a lot on the process, and D has had such a great experience. He’s been given drinks and treated like a princesss…
Its tough, but you gotta let it slide. Easier said than done I know, and its something I’m having to remind myself a lot.
I will say I’m very excited about the parties we are planning and spending time with all our family and friends. Its going to be the perfect wedding for the two of us, bringing together our individual ideas and creating something that will be very special.
Peace out for now